Take that Suckers!

Hello again! I am so excited to write today! I feel like most of this blog has been about unfortunate events and today I am writing about an amazing moment in my life…

After my miscarriage, I got pregnant again right away and had the most beautiful, sweet baby girl. I named her Sara, after my grandma. It was such a different experience being pregnant AND married. Everyone was happy for me and I didn't feel embarrassed or ashamed. Thankfully I had an easy pregnancy and loved every minute of being pregnant. When Sara was born, I was overcome with joy. I would spend my whole day holding her while Joey was at work and Kailynn was at school. I know some people believe that you can hold a baby too much but, I disagree.  When Kailynn was 4 weeks old, I was starting my senior year in high school. I missed out on so much of Kailynn being a baby (as most working mothers do) that I knew how precious this time was with Sara and didn't care how much I held her and loved on her. Joey and I had discussed if I would be a stay at home mom before we ever got married.  It was part of a questionnaire we did in a book to help prepare us for marriage.  I enjoyed working and was used to having "my" money and it was going to be a huge adjustment mentally and financially for me. Again, I was used to being independent and didn't really rely on anyone. The best decision I ever made was to quit my job and stay at home. Don't get me wrong, it definitely took a toll on us. We had to learn to survive with one income and two children. I'm still not sure how we got through it:) It was Sara's first birthday when I discovered that I was going to have another baby. Kailynn was loving being a big sister but when I told her we were going to have another baby, her response was, "is this some kind of sick joke?" She was 9 1/2 years old. But then again, when she was 6 she said something else that took me by surprise. Joey and I were just about married and he told her if she wanted to call him daddy, he would be okay with it. She looked him square in the eye and told him she thought it would be best to wait until we were married. You can imagine the expression on our faces. It was as if she was telling him, "hold your horses buddy, I'm not yours…yet."

Anyway, once we were married she started calling him daddy. I don't even remember the first time. Maybe because it seemed so natural. So once I was expecting again, Joey really got serious about adopting Kailynn. He felt it was unfair to Kailynn that we all have the same last name except for her. So we did some research and decided it would be best to get an attorney. We didn't really have the money but it was something that was well worth the sacrifice. I'm still shocked at the whole process and how out dated it is. You literally have to put an "ad" in the paper stating your child is "up for adoption" in the event anyone and their brother wants to contest it. Blah, still makes me a little sick. Not that I think it should be done secretively, but couldn't we just notify Stan privately? We had to send certified letters and our attorney did all the proper paperwork. On the day of our hearing, I thought I was going to through up in the parking lot. Joey had to have three letters of recommendation by non family members and prove why he wanted to be Kailynn's dad. It seemed so obvious to me why he should be her legal father and so silly to stand before a judge and state our case. But, it's the law. We entered the courtroom. I nervously scanned the room, NO STAN, shwewww! The judge came out and asked our attorney to state our case. She began explaining that the "biological father" has had zero contact with "the child" since she was 18 months old. Honestly, I'd rather not share all the details. Bottom line, Kailynn had to sit there and listen to how she was abandoned by her own father. It made me sick. I was so excited to have things legally changed that it never occurred to me what she would have to sit and listen to. Why couldn't she wait in the hallway? Was it really necessary for her to hear all this? Needless to say, there wasn't a dry eye on our side. Our family had come to support us and it was very emotional for us all. We left there that day with a smile that could light up the sky. The judge agreed that Joey had every right to legally adopt Kailynn and commended him on his efforts thus far. He then presented Kailynn with a special American flag pendant. Joey and Kailynn got their picture with the judge and then we did what any normal family does. Had a huge party! It was so amazing to see all the love and support we had. Joey stepped up to the plate big time and even though we didn't need a paper to tell us he was her "real" dad. It's nice to know he wanted to go the extra mile to make sure Kailynn had his name on her birth certificate.

It's funny because we live our lives everyday without thinking of those important moments. That's what I love about this blog! It forces me not only to talk about the past, good and bad, but to remember it. Reminds me of how proud I am of Joey for being a man that not everyone can be. It's moments like this that I can't for the life of me imagine my life without him. He would say that he did what anybody would do. But the reality is that there a lot of people who wouldn't go that extra step. He may have the most thoughtful soul of anyone I know. Kailynn, I know you didn't ask for any of this, but I hope you realize how blessed you are to have daddy. I pray that one day (not anytime soon) you find a man that loves you half as much as he does.

And so I leave you today with this confession:

I'm happy Joey adopted Kailynn for my own selfish reasons. When I think of the 16 year old girl sitting with Stan and Mrs. Stan at their kitchen table, I smile because I feel like justice had been served. I feel such an urge to stand up and shout, "take that suckers!"